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Friday, April 20, 2007
Truth is out.
Well guessed I may be really stupid... actually wanted to believe him that.. ya, maybe his sis really hate him so much wanted to say all his bad things to me that is not true. And still trying to believe that he and that bitch wont do such things... Still though i had really wronged them. Well I am stupid enugh la. But the truth is finally out. Cos even b4 me and he still together... I once found out that he actually book a resort and spa in puket. which is 18 - 21st of April 2007. Dat time when I confronted him. He told me it was his mom and his anuty going. But I dun really believe. COs there is this special request. 1. Non-Smoking Room. 2. A King Size bed. And he knew I would call his mom and asked about it. And he asked his mom to Lie to me. Very good. Well even now still want to lie to me. Disgrace on what they have done? He said I spread things about him.. and her.. Say till as if I have wronged them. I am pissed.. over myself. And I hate to wronged ppl so I am determine to find out the truth. Well so 'qiao' lor both of them frnster account last login day is 3 days.. and I try called that bitch yesterday. And her hp was off.. And I belive it will be off all the way till 21st when they came back from THailand. Also I try to call his house also. And his mom picked up the call. Gd 1 point Proven too. His MOM was in SG. So... again his lie... is broke. Y I am very pissed off. Cos I really dun understands how cum. This guy that have been with me for 4 yrs plus.. can do this to me. And Worst of all y am I such a fool to trust that bitch frn of his? I am very pissed off with myself. And was thinking.. right now. I am here in sg feeling upset all becos of all these. Yet they are happily at thailand enjoying their lives... there.. I hate them. Y must hurt me? Even if they really wanna be together.. y must hide and lies. I hate Liers... I hate them. Though many of my frns.. said they will have retribution... I know they are trying to console me. But will they really have retribution? I hope they will disappear from this earth. I don't want to see them. They really make me feels disgusted. Even his mom also told me b4. Even if they really together. U think they will lasT? I dunno. I dun even want to care. I just want my Laughter back... my Lively days. Back... THough many told me wad you need is time.. to heal. I know.. toO.. But I just can't take this lying down. They really must have retribution. I cruse them. (I may be very evil now. But no choice.)
Sunday, April 15, 2007
FRnster account hacked.
Well he hacked my frnster account. I felt his so childish. And he still can use his own account to add me testimonial and after that use my account to approve it. My message to him after he change back my account.
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Still I think u dun understand this. I tell u one Last time. I nv spread anything bad about u. I only tell my frns around me... You say u dun love me.. wan to break with me and I accept. Ur sis told me that thing. Its until dat nite I called u and confronted u both. Then I told them what u told me, jiahui told me and ur sister told me. Anyway... i chat with jh b4.. at MSN she did admit. SO stop saying I say bad things of u. If u and her really got nothing.. den nothing lar.. but its.. u 2 want to let me think that way, den be it. You should be affected. Cos u choose it to end everything this way. Initially I was thinking of being frn with u. But ur attidute and ur childishness stops everything. And I really can feel u being a navy officer is so immature. U can just hack my frnster account. And approve those testimonial that i didn't want to approve it. Thanks really thanks for that. And u can also add wadever testimonail u want and use my account to approve it. U are really childish. Sometimes I really wonder, being together for 4 yrs... And u could do all these stupid things to hurt someone u love b4. I dun understand y. Initially we would have really a clean cut at the start. You are the one holding on. I dunno y. U wanted the breakup , I agreed to. And I asked for my things back. You could just returned me.. everything and i return u every thing and we would have just go separate ways. Things would be the same as now. Even till that day... Maybe I really mistrust ur sis... and wronged u and her.. I dunno maybe i was wrong... But still that next day that u promised me.. Could be the last day we met and contact each other. And we will go separate ways. Still I let u have ur way. You dun dare to face me. Not u dun wan to see me. cos u scare I asked u wad happen and u dun wan to ans me. U just want to be irresponsible. Still I granted ur wish. I go personally to ur house leave ur things there. And I nv take back my things. Should u be thankful to me.? Den nvm again we can have a clear cut after this... But still U go SMS me.. that stupid message and Hack my frnster account. Dun tell me not u.. OK.. Even not.. u I ask u to change back u can just change back.. Y go use ur own account to add me that testimonial and use my account to approve it. And.. btw... its none of ur business whether alot of guys.. gd to me or not. Anyway that testimonial is wad I asked my frn to add one. Initally wanted to make u angry, But i felt childish so I did not approve it. And yet u use my account to approve it. I dun need to explain to u Too. But unlike u. If i Never done anything I DONT LIKE PPL TO MISTAKEN IT. And I wont admit somthing that i did not DO. Think about it if u nv hack my account we already go separated ways. I would have to call u and ask u change back and call ur MOM to ask u to Stop harrasing me.. and my life. U have hurt me enugh. And I am trying to get out of it. So please just leave me alone. If i really wronged u den I am very sorry and from Now on. I think no body will say u anymore.. I will Go tell them is I wronged about u and ur dear frn. OK.
ANyway this one u must know. being together for so many years.. I really have to tell u this.. U really nv understands me b4, or maybe U nv... tried to understands me b4. If u really understands me, u wont be saying me bad mouth u. If u really still dun understands and insist in saying I got spread things about u. Then u just take it as that.. Cos.. I already told u I NV. Anyway. If u really want to have a clear cut bwt us. dun appear infront of me for at least 6months. I will appreciates that.. Maybe next time we still can be frns back.. but I am sorry now.. I just dun wan to see u. Not I cannot face u.. Is I wan to forget all this memories about u. Whether its happy or unhappy. Ya we did have happy memmories. But I wan to forget. Again This is the last time I am saying this. Previously .. 2 years ago, you ask me dun contact you. You wanna break off with me. And I did. Yet U wanted to pachted that time. You promised to give me happiness. But instead of happiness all u did so to hurt me deeply once again. Ya you told many ppl say I dun trust u didn't give u privacy... check ur emails.. ur hp ... ya.. I did check. COs I know I no longer trust u. Thats y I agreed to breakup. ANd Y i dun trust u, U should know very clear urself. Anyway, I am thankful to you. For those days that you really put in ur heart and love me i did appreciates and cherrished this relationship. But I know you need ur freedoms more den u need me. Maybe u wan to fight back on all this that i written. In this relationship there is no right or wrong. Its just the love for me was not as strong as the love I had for u. But u dun have to hurt me. I told u b4 if one day u dun love me just tell me... I will leave u. I did told u very long time ago. After reading this mail if u think I tok rubbish u can just ignore dun take it to heart. But dun try to reply me.. cos I will take it to heart and.. again we will not have a clear cut. I dun wan to break le still must quarrel with u. And I wont disturb ur family. Thats all. Bye 4Eva.
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Still I think u dun understand this. I tell u one Last time. I nv spread anything bad about u. I only tell my frns around me... You say u dun love me.. wan to break with me and I accept. Ur sis told me that thing. Its until dat nite I called u and confronted u both. Then I told them what u told me, jiahui told me and ur sister told me. Anyway... i chat with jh b4.. at MSN she did admit. SO stop saying I say bad things of u. If u and her really got nothing.. den nothing lar.. but its.. u 2 want to let me think that way, den be it. You should be affected. Cos u choose it to end everything this way. Initially I was thinking of being frn with u. But ur attidute and ur childishness stops everything. And I really can feel u being a navy officer is so immature. U can just hack my frnster account. And approve those testimonial that i didn't want to approve it. Thanks really thanks for that. And u can also add wadever testimonail u want and use my account to approve it. U are really childish. Sometimes I really wonder, being together for 4 yrs... And u could do all these stupid things to hurt someone u love b4. I dun understand y. Initially we would have really a clean cut at the start. You are the one holding on. I dunno y. U wanted the breakup , I agreed to. And I asked for my things back. You could just returned me.. everything and i return u every thing and we would have just go separate ways. Things would be the same as now. Even till that day... Maybe I really mistrust ur sis... and wronged u and her.. I dunno maybe i was wrong... But still that next day that u promised me.. Could be the last day we met and contact each other. And we will go separate ways. Still I let u have ur way. You dun dare to face me. Not u dun wan to see me. cos u scare I asked u wad happen and u dun wan to ans me. U just want to be irresponsible. Still I granted ur wish. I go personally to ur house leave ur things there. And I nv take back my things. Should u be thankful to me.? Den nvm again we can have a clear cut after this... But still U go SMS me.. that stupid message and Hack my frnster account. Dun tell me not u.. OK.. Even not.. u I ask u to change back u can just change back.. Y go use ur own account to add me that testimonial and use my account to approve it. And.. btw... its none of ur business whether alot of guys.. gd to me or not. Anyway that testimonial is wad I asked my frn to add one. Initally wanted to make u angry, But i felt childish so I did not approve it. And yet u use my account to approve it. I dun need to explain to u Too. But unlike u. If i Never done anything I DONT LIKE PPL TO MISTAKEN IT. And I wont admit somthing that i did not DO. Think about it if u nv hack my account we already go separated ways. I would have to call u and ask u change back and call ur MOM to ask u to Stop harrasing me.. and my life. U have hurt me enugh. And I am trying to get out of it. So please just leave me alone. If i really wronged u den I am very sorry and from Now on. I think no body will say u anymore.. I will Go tell them is I wronged about u and ur dear frn. OK.
ANyway this one u must know. being together for so many years.. I really have to tell u this.. U really nv understands me b4, or maybe U nv... tried to understands me b4. If u really understands me, u wont be saying me bad mouth u. If u really still dun understands and insist in saying I got spread things about u. Then u just take it as that.. Cos.. I already told u I NV. Anyway. If u really want to have a clear cut bwt us. dun appear infront of me for at least 6months. I will appreciates that.. Maybe next time we still can be frns back.. but I am sorry now.. I just dun wan to see u. Not I cannot face u.. Is I wan to forget all this memories about u. Whether its happy or unhappy. Ya we did have happy memmories. But I wan to forget. Again This is the last time I am saying this. Previously .. 2 years ago, you ask me dun contact you. You wanna break off with me. And I did. Yet U wanted to pachted that time. You promised to give me happiness. But instead of happiness all u did so to hurt me deeply once again. Ya you told many ppl say I dun trust u didn't give u privacy... check ur emails.. ur hp ... ya.. I did check. COs I know I no longer trust u. Thats y I agreed to breakup. ANd Y i dun trust u, U should know very clear urself. Anyway, I am thankful to you. For those days that you really put in ur heart and love me i did appreciates and cherrished this relationship. But I know you need ur freedoms more den u need me. Maybe u wan to fight back on all this that i written. In this relationship there is no right or wrong. Its just the love for me was not as strong as the love I had for u. But u dun have to hurt me. I told u b4 if one day u dun love me just tell me... I will leave u. I did told u very long time ago. After reading this mail if u think I tok rubbish u can just ignore dun take it to heart. But dun try to reply me.. cos I will take it to heart and.. again we will not have a clear cut. I dun wan to break le still must quarrel with u. And I wont disturb ur family. Thats all. Bye 4Eva.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
HOw can i get all this OVER!~??
Msg : I know u r spreading alot of bad words abt me damaging my reputation. But I dun care n i wun borther to do any explanation. One thing I want u to know is u can talk bad about me all u wan, just dun affect my frns. I dun wish to see my frn get involve for nothing. I feel sorry if i really hurt u that bad but everything is over. Treat it like a man. Uptill this stage, i believe we can't even continue our friendship so lets end it here. Once and for all! Take care.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I got this msg from him this very morning. I am so upset, cos.. he rather hurt me once again also want to protect that ger.~ well. Ask me to treat it like a man. Hello.. I am not man.. I cannot treat it like a man.. I am a WOMAN. And dunno is who dun treat it like a man. Dun even dare to come and face me, when he actually promised to meet up return wad is suppose to return and Settle everything. And he selfishly thinks that I would still wan to be his frn when I found out all this? How navie this man is? Wad had gone into me? Falling into this man trap? 4 yrs plus relationship.
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Reply: I nv talk bad about her, she admit herself. I did ask u 2 wad happen. If u 2 did nothing wrong y u dun dare to come and face me dat day?U got that day to explain to me not to anybody. Cos u owed me. Is ur own sis told me all this. At 1st I tot we still can be frns... but when i found ouyt all this lets forget everything. Do u know wad happen? This is such a big blow to me, I got into high fever for nothing just becos of this. And u dunno wad i am foing through right now so please just get out of my life. My grandfather in hospital, and my god-father just passed away. I dun have the eneryg anymore. Anyway I just tell ppl wad i heard from u, ur sis and her. So if anything isn't true, please explain urself not to me anymore but to ur frns. Cos u already lost the last chance to me. This will be the last time u see my no. Cos today is my last day using this no. Thank You. If she is not the one, u better tell ur mom. Cos I think ur mom doesn't like her.. or the idea of u bring her home.
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When I wake up this morning... and got all this again.. I cried... I very weak leh... nabei
already not feeling well.. Then went to ang mo kio... to the wake.. see everyone crying... feeling sad for my god-father. Haiz.. I lost 2 fathers... This is wad I felt. Not much... feeling anymore.. numb. Den i THink i Got fever again. I felt body unconfortable. Once I reached home and bathed, I took med, got 1 is relaxation pills, panadols and antibiotics.. and slp.... from 4 all the way to nite....8.30pm.... now feeling abit better le... When can things just get better?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I got this msg from him this very morning. I am so upset, cos.. he rather hurt me once again also want to protect that ger.~ well. Ask me to treat it like a man. Hello.. I am not man.. I cannot treat it like a man.. I am a WOMAN. And dunno is who dun treat it like a man. Dun even dare to come and face me, when he actually promised to meet up return wad is suppose to return and Settle everything. And he selfishly thinks that I would still wan to be his frn when I found out all this? How navie this man is? Wad had gone into me? Falling into this man trap? 4 yrs plus relationship.
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Reply: I nv talk bad about her, she admit herself. I did ask u 2 wad happen. If u 2 did nothing wrong y u dun dare to come and face me dat day?U got that day to explain to me not to anybody. Cos u owed me. Is ur own sis told me all this. At 1st I tot we still can be frns... but when i found ouyt all this lets forget everything. Do u know wad happen? This is such a big blow to me, I got into high fever for nothing just becos of this. And u dunno wad i am foing through right now so please just get out of my life. My grandfather in hospital, and my god-father just passed away. I dun have the eneryg anymore. Anyway I just tell ppl wad i heard from u, ur sis and her. So if anything isn't true, please explain urself not to me anymore but to ur frns. Cos u already lost the last chance to me. This will be the last time u see my no. Cos today is my last day using this no. Thank You. If she is not the one, u better tell ur mom. Cos I think ur mom doesn't like her.. or the idea of u bring her home.
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When I wake up this morning... and got all this again.. I cried... I very weak leh... nabei
already not feeling well.. Then went to ang mo kio... to the wake.. see everyone crying... feeling sad for my god-father. Haiz.. I lost 2 fathers... This is wad I felt. Not much... feeling anymore.. numb. Den i THink i Got fever again. I felt body unconfortable. Once I reached home and bathed, I took med, got 1 is relaxation pills, panadols and antibiotics.. and slp.... from 4 all the way to nite....8.30pm.... now feeling abit better le... When can things just get better?
Sunday, April 08, 2007
歌曲：逆光
歌曲：逆光
歌手：孙燕姿 专辑：逆光
也许我一直害怕有答案
也许爱情仅在风里打转
离开释怀很短暂又重来
有时候自问自答
我不要困难把我们击散
我责备自己那么不勇敢
遗憾没有到达
拥抱过还是害怕
用力推开你我一人留下
有一束光那瞬间 是什么痛得刺眼
你的视线是谅解 为什么舍不得熄灭
我逆着光却看见
那是泪光那力量 我不想再去抵挡
面对希望逆着光 感觉爱存在的地方
一直就在我身旁
我不要困难把我们击散
我责备自己那么不勇敢
遗憾没有到达
拥抱过还是害怕
用力推开你我一人留下
有一束光那瞬间是什么痛得刺眼
你的视线是谅解为什么舍不得熄灭
我逆着光却看见
那是泪光那力量 我不想再去抵挡
面对希望逆着光 感觉爱存在的地方
一直就在我身旁
我以为无路后退 反复证明这份爱有多不对
背对着你如此漆黑忍住疲惫
睁开眼打开窗才 发现你就是光芒!
有一束光那瞬间是什么痛得刺眼
你的视线是谅解为什么舍不得熄灭
我逆着光却看见 那是泪光那力量
我不想再去抵挡 面对希望逆着光
感觉爱存在的地方
一直就在 我身旁
光芒你是光芒
This song is specially dedicated for my dear frns... who actually give me the support through this period. I am sorry if I happen to bring my sadness to you. But I really appreciates you guys.
Thanks.
歌手：孙燕姿 专辑：逆光
也许我一直害怕有答案
也许爱情仅在风里打转
离开释怀很短暂又重来
有时候自问自答
我不要困难把我们击散
我责备自己那么不勇敢
遗憾没有到达
拥抱过还是害怕
用力推开你我一人留下
有一束光那瞬间 是什么痛得刺眼
你的视线是谅解 为什么舍不得熄灭
我逆着光却看见
那是泪光那力量 我不想再去抵挡
面对希望逆着光 感觉爱存在的地方
一直就在我身旁
我不要困难把我们击散
我责备自己那么不勇敢
遗憾没有到达
拥抱过还是害怕
用力推开你我一人留下
有一束光那瞬间是什么痛得刺眼
你的视线是谅解为什么舍不得熄灭
我逆着光却看见
那是泪光那力量 我不想再去抵挡
面对希望逆着光 感觉爱存在的地方
一直就在我身旁
我以为无路后退 反复证明这份爱有多不对
背对着你如此漆黑忍住疲惫
睁开眼打开窗才 发现你就是光芒!
有一束光那瞬间是什么痛得刺眼
你的视线是谅解为什么舍不得熄灭
我逆着光却看见 那是泪光那力量
我不想再去抵挡 面对希望逆着光
感觉爱存在的地方
一直就在 我身旁
光芒你是光芒
This song is specially dedicated for my dear frns... who actually give me the support through this period. I am sorry if I happen to bring my sadness to you. But I really appreciates you guys.
Thanks.
其实很爱你
演唱:张韵涵
张韶涵-其实很爱你
离开不会太悲伤
有些心情该释放
直到眼泪它自己落下
才发现骗不了自己
其实很爱你
现在学着去遗忘
躲开有你的地方回忆
被谁放在书架上
把他从最高的地方落下
感动越是深刻寂寞就越伤人喔
每个人的心里都会有一段伤痕
像白纸的天真
仿佛被你伤得好深
相爱不需要理由
离开也没有理由挽留
Thursday, April 05, 2007
背叛
雨 不停落下来
花 怎么都不开
尽管我细心灌溉
你说不爱就不爱
我一个人欣赏悲哀
爱只剩下无奈
我一直不愿再去猜
钢琴上黑键之间
永远都夹着空白
缺了一块就不精采
紧紧相依的心如何
say goodbye
你比我清楚还要
我说明白
爱太深会让人疯狂的勇敢
我用背叛 自己完成你的期盼
把手放开不问一句
当作最后一次对你的溺爱
冷冷清清淡淡
今后都不管只要
你能愉快有一句感慨
还能够跟谁对白
在你关上门之前
替我再回头看看
那些片段还在不在心
Betrayer !
Fuck.... I recieved a BOMB last nite... His Sis told me.. that after we broke off only afew days
he bring home a ger. And bathe at his house and stay over nite. The worst thing is this ger is I know one... and I trusted her so much I told her alot of things. FUCK OFF BITCH....... Den Everything I also tell her... and she also ask me to break with him.. fuck... fuck fuck... na bei.. I am a Fool~ And to thing that she can do such things and just pretend that nothing happen.
And.. gd.. the bastard and bitch hanky panky... den me... stupid... suffering alone... n GOT into HIGH FEVER..... BECOS OF THIS... WTH
he bring home a ger. And bathe at his house and stay over nite. The worst thing is this ger is I know one... and I trusted her so much I told her alot of things. FUCK OFF BITCH....... Den Everything I also tell her... and she also ask me to break with him.. fuck... fuck fuck... na bei.. I am a Fool~ And to thing that she can do such things and just pretend that nothing happen.
And.. gd.. the bastard and bitch hanky panky... den me... stupid... suffering alone... n GOT into HIGH FEVER..... BECOS OF THIS... WTH
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Guitar Lesson~
Well guess today is a better day compare to yesterday or the day b4.. At least I not moody.. anymore. Guess maybe I sort out my thoughts...Cos.. I kEep rushing myself to forget him.. and forget everything.. but I guess thats not the right way to handle it. I give too much stress to myself. This kind of things.. can't be rush... The more I want to get over it faster.. the more I can't get it over. I am so stucked with my own thoughts. Hopefully, time really can heals.
Well today I went to ge ge house for dinner. Yummy! GeGe's mom cooked nice dishes... Btw did I mention why I went to Gege's house? To learn guitar lor from him. :) Trying very hard..~ lol
Well today I went to ge ge house for dinner. Yummy! GeGe's mom cooked nice dishes... Btw did I mention why I went to Gege's house? To learn guitar lor from him. :) Trying very hard..~ lol
Monday, April 02, 2007
I am so fed up with myself can anyone get me out of this shit?
From what I found out, he really don’t love me.
And if its really true, then why must drag until now?
It really hurts me so much. I don’t know how to act anymore.
I told my frns, his frns that I am ok.. and very happy. I am enjoying my life.
But who will knows. This is just my way to stop my frns.. worring for me.
I know my dear frns.. you all care a lot for me. But I really dun wan you guys to worry.
Am I really ok? I don’t know. I just felt heartbroken. I hate to luff after I cry.
I hate to pretend that I am ok when I am not. I don’t know how to go on with my life.
I am very borther by it. I hate him. I hate myself. I thought after the 2 days rest at home.
I can forget everything and carry on with my life. I thought. Yet. I tried to convince myself. I completely dunno wad I am doing now.
And if its really true, then why must drag until now?
It really hurts me so much. I don’t know how to act anymore.
I told my frns, his frns that I am ok.. and very happy. I am enjoying my life.
But who will knows. This is just my way to stop my frns.. worring for me.
I know my dear frns.. you all care a lot for me. But I really dun wan you guys to worry.
Am I really ok? I don’t know. I just felt heartbroken. I hate to luff after I cry.
I hate to pretend that I am ok when I am not. I don’t know how to go on with my life.
I am very borther by it. I hate him. I hate myself. I thought after the 2 days rest at home.
I can forget everything and carry on with my life. I thought. Yet. I tried to convince myself. I completely dunno wad I am doing now.
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