Busy Days and Nights ~ usED up all my Engery since last monday till noW~

Well, I guessed the emo period should be overnow..
Was actually quite surprised that, that last sat night go ktv pub with KC and Sam.
To acc Kc as he became emo too. I tot with the Aid of alcohol I will, once again feel very emo and maybe teared. Instead, no tears, no feeling. Emptyness is wad I feel now.. No sadness or frustrations like before. I guess everything even my feelings.. is gone after the call that nite. Not sure if this is a gd/bad thing. Cos I belive when I mentioned that my heart is sealed up this time rd, I might be just saying it for now..But i gussed It just happened to be that way too. Cos now I totally feel nothing no sadness, no happiness, just emptyness and the fact that I go out everynite after work.. to keep myself busy... till When I reached home I was damn tired and I would just washed up and collaspe into my bed.
Sometimes its gd to cry when u are sad, but what happens if there is no tears???
Though during that call that nite, we did said that we are still friends.. and he even say he will treat me better as a frn.. suppose to be no hard feelings but i guessed that's our very last contact.. he didn't contact me, neither did I...I am glad I have many many frns who care alot for me.. There are always there when i need them, though I didn't say anything to them.. I guess its always damn diff to express my feelings to frns.. so somtimes they tends to mistunderstands.. and i dun liKe to explain.. i just leave the misunderstanding there... well that nite was the last time i ever explain... I will nv do that again.
It used up all my Engery and Courage.... that I have accumulated for this few years..

Fang Le Ai....

Finally Over - The Ugly Truth

Well, let me start off with why I am so tired this whole week. Cos I have alot of thoughts in mind... Qns and no ans... I only can make myself busy to distract myself. Monday, after work i went out with gege and mike... Tuesday, I went ktv pub till 2plus am with a frn. Wed, I went ktv with joe, kexin and a frn till 2.plus am again.. and Totally Shagged out till i need to take 1/2 day leave... today.. and after work.. I went out again with yan... to get my baby G and shop shop... I was so happy when I finally Get my many years WISH(TO GET a BABY G!!! I nv have had one)... But when yan reached bugis and we went for dinner at V8 cafe, she ask me so wad happen ? I told her i dun wish to say cos i will be sad... in the end i still got to say..out... haiz... so after that I got Totally EMO mode again =( and She tell me if she was me.. she will Call him and ask exactly wad happen shouldn't keep inside the heart ... will feel very xinku... And after that we went shopping.. but i wasn't in the mood.. cos already turn EMO mode... lol wadever she tell me or ask me.. i just say ya.. nice.. go and try... I was very tired at the same time...

And this time i really think through wad she told me and... finally when i reach nearby my place... I called him up... to have a chat with him... Finally everything was clear... he mentioned that it was all his fault... and I did nothing wrong... well i also xian already .. I just wan him not to misunderstands..me.. he said that he feels that he couldn't really put in 100% effort cos of his previous experience too so... he dun wish to hurt me.. so when all this things took place he decided not to disturb me and stop everything... To him : he might thing ya since we have not even started so it might be a gd thing.. that he stop early... but sad to say,.. actually its tOO late for him to even appologize already. Cos for my part I am struggling myself.. he dunno or no one knows how hard it is for me to even unLOCk my heart for the special one to come in... and now i think its my fault to cos my own misery.. I shouldn't have even give any hopes for anyone ... I shouldn't ... cOs when there is no hopes, there will be no dissapointment... and no dissapoinment means.. i will be gd... at least i won't be eMO =( .. Well but at least everything is clear now.. I suddenly feel so relax now...

沒那麼簡單

Hm.. was chating on Msn with zhong, he ask me abt hows things going on... and i told him roughly wad happen...I couldn't force him to tell me his thoughts and i couldn't force him to reply me..so the only thing i could do is to give up and stop all this by not contact him anymore.. and tell him when i start to open my heart this is wad I get...
I told him actually its not like i really like him that much.. its just that I dun like the idea of y is heaven being so unfair to me? y does it always be like dat? Am i really asking too much? anD its not like I like this guy.. I ask him out kinda of thing.. its he makes me think that he is interested...so I started asking zhong... qns that I acutally I asked kc before too... lol am I not gd enugh?,am I not pretty enugh? am I not attractive eungh? am I that kind of ger that u will ever like? he replied was: u are gd, and above average... but maybe because sometimes u keep to yourself too much.. let ppl have a feeling of too distant...感觉有点难接近 ... hm... i guess its might be true?
Perhaps its all becos of the terrible experience that I had 3 years ago... with that jerk...