Well, let me start off with why I am so tired this whole week. Cos I have alot of thoughts in mind... Qns and no ans... I only can make myself busy to distract myself. Monday, after work i went out with gege and mike... Tuesday, I went ktv pub till 2plus am with a frn. Wed, I went ktv with joe, kexin and a frn till 2.plus am again.. and Totally Shagged out till i need to take 1/2 day leave... today.. and after work.. I went out again with yan... to get my baby G and shop shop... I was so happy when I finally Get my many years WISH(TO GET a BABY G!!! I nv have had one)... But when yan reached bugis and we went for dinner at V8 cafe, she ask me so wad happen ? I told her i dun wish to say cos i will be sad... in the end i still got to say..out... haiz... so after that I got Totally EMO mode again =( and She tell me if she was me.. she will Call him and ask exactly wad happen shouldn't keep inside the heart ... will feel very xinku... And after that we went shopping.. but i wasn't in the mood.. cos already turn EMO mode... lol wadever she tell me or ask me.. i just say ya.. nice.. go and try... I was very tired at the same time...
And this time i really think through wad she told me and... finally when i reach nearby my place... I called him up... to have a chat with him... Finally everything was clear... he mentioned that it was all his fault... and I did nothing wrong... well i also xian already .. I just wan him not to misunderstands..me.. he said that he feels that he couldn't really put in 100% effort cos of his previous experience too so... he dun wish to hurt me.. so when all this things took place he decided not to disturb me and stop everything... To him : he might thing ya since we have not even started so it might be a gd thing.. that he stop early... but sad to say,.. actually its tOO late for him to even appologize already. Cos for my part I am struggling myself.. he dunno or no one knows how hard it is for me to even unLOCk my heart for the special one to come in... and now i think its my fault to cos my own misery.. I shouldn't have even give any hopes for anyone ... I shouldn't ... cOs when there is no hopes, there will be no dissapointment... and no dissapoinment means.. i will be gd... at least i won't be eMO =( .. Well but at least everything is clear now.. I suddenly feel so relax now...
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