~FridaY Hari RaYa~

My 21st Bday Celebration Details...

Dear Frns...
Please take note of the venu, date , time... i have acctually create a link inside my blog under
links--> 21st bday details..
http://www.geocities.com/xiaopika/bday/bday.html.
Please give me your soonest reply... Thanks.. alot ~!
Regards,
Irene

Last nite.. I cried again~

Eh i found the message which i post earlier its quite true...
Becos... u wont cry infront of your frns... lor..
As for me.. i usually crys in the night... Even if my bf is with me..
he may be beside me.. but... he may not know that sometimes.. i cry
in the night while he was slping....

Even if he saw that i was crying, he oso like nv care like dat...
haiz... sumtimes it just hurts me thinking so....

Last nite.. i cried again... while listening to the song "Waiting For You".
He nv told me.. where he went again.. and i hated that...

thinking of wad happened that nite b4 we patched... and during the night dat
he promised that he will changed... and... give me happiness...
yet... tears is all i hv ... recently... i felt afraid... i was afraid to love him
once again.. i had this feeling... one day we may break again...

On thinking of all these ... my heart aches.. my tears... rolled down..
my cheeks.. Everything will.. so nice.. oways.. in the beginning...
and later... everything slowly changed... All becos of his frn..
haiz.. i really duno Am i really that important to him... or its just say only
and dosent mean it...

Dear, if u ever read this blog... please... stop testing my patient and stop hurting
me... and rem... wad u hv write the testimonial in frnster,,... and wad u wrote in
mutliply... When the time dat i really couldn't take it anymore.... i will disappear...
from ur view... i dunno where i may go... but confirm one thing...
u will nv had a chance to see me again.... trust me

Why a Ger will Cry~!

If a gal cries in front of you,it means that she couldn't take it anymore.
If you took her hand, she would stay with you for the rest of your life;
If you let her go, she couldn't go back to being herself anymore.
A gal won't cry easily,except in front of the person who she love the most,
she becomes weak.A gal won't cry easily,only when she love you the most,
she put down her ego.Guys, if a gal cried bcoz of you,please hold her hands firmly,
she's the one who would stay with you for the rest of your life.
Guys, if a gal cried bcoz of you,please don't give her up, maybe bcoz of your decision,
you ruin her life.To my friends...

Ponder this message seriously. Don't do this to a gal,
You may regret for the rest of your life.Maybe in your life,
she's the only one that love you the most. Remember this lesson...

Shopping/KTV

Saturday
Suppose to meet the gers, mabel and dawn.. for shopping at buggis and orchard... but ... i got stomach cramps.... and i woke up tOo early in the morning... thus, in the end... i told them not feeling well and i wen to take a nap... and rest..
i slp for around 1 to 2 hrs... i think... den i woke up...

DEn... cousin called me... and says she can meet me to shop already... so evenign i went to meet her at lot 1 ... and we went all the way to buggis... by the time we reach there... around 7 le... i think... den cos at lot 1 i went to look for yan 's bday present... DEn at buggis... she bought a formal shoe and i bought a sharp pointer... shoe... haha i wanted to buy skirt but... cant find a suitable one... and cos... the shops closing tOO... den she manage to get a skirt...

after dat i accompany her eat dinner... den went to sommerset mrt to meet hwan gege...
den... we went to KPool and KTv... den... we sing until dear came... and he took over... lol den... we sing until 4 plus... denwe went home... dat stupid dear oways say no $$ no $$ den ... go rent a CAr... pengZ

The MOST important Guy OF my Life(Dear)

The mOst important Guy of my life... is my Dear (my this BF!)

hAiz Dunno is Fated oR wad... maybe its i owed him in my past life isit?
I oways asked myself... ... i love him so much, give in to him So much,
treasure him so much, oways worried for him, yEt he oways neglect my
feelings.. and keep hurting me and even lied to me... that was
beFore we had our breakup.. After breakup...

We went separate waYs... Yet he couldn't give up the relation
dat he ownself destoryed it.. and becos of some thing... we got back again
he promised alot of things but some he broke it again...
i knew... and i am sad ....

WeLL wednessday nite.... u still oWed me aN explanaTion...
I wan an ExPlanation...

import guys of my Life(Hwan GeGe)

The next important guy is ... Berneard Chua(Hwan GeGe)..
hE is my God-Bro... we are from the sec Sch tOO... he oso from
the scouts..same batch as Jeremy 1 yr older den me...
Well we got to know each other also becos of guides...

den... dat time.. we went out together... wether got others around
or not we will nv be bored... well though there was once we had
some misunderstands... and fall out with each other... erm for around
6mnths.. den got back as frn when there my god-bro WeiGe and erm
forgotten who... asked us to go sim lim together...

WeLL i oso dunno y dat time he suddenly advoid me... den... i ask him
he did not tell me... but wad i tot was he actually tot i had a crush on him??
haha until now i still dunno cos .. he got a sudden depression ... once... before
and lost part of the memmory...

But now we are still On GD Terms...
erm.. he knows my attidute and i know him well tOO we behave the same
and we oways Like to joke around... and my frns... oways tOT we look and
sounds the same.. den i will say cos i am his sis... haha and Yan ask me..
u all so good y nv get to be a couple instead...
my reply was: Erm we are too close le and dun think will hv any chemistry..

And GueSS wad Yan go ask him... TOO and she told me.. our reply was the same
HaAHaaha.. well this Guy... u dun see him like bigbig.. cute cute cheerful
cheerful one... actually when he is very stress up he will try to hide his feelings one
tO me... i dores him alot as he dores me... I treat him even beta den my own
Blood brother... until my bf got abit Jealous.. haha eh his different ok...
he dores me more den u...in many ways...

Well hWan GeGe i will oWays be therefore u... ^-^

The important guys of my life...(Jeremy)

I had actually 3 important guys in my life...

1st is Jeremy, the guy who knows me well and treat me
like a princess during sec sch days.. He taught me alot of
things like: Biology, AMaths, relationships, social ...alot
and alot but when he had a crush on me... when i was with
my 1st bf, and everytime i quarrel with my bf i will consult him
for advice.. Den...Oso partly becos of me cos his relationship
to breakup dat time... Yet we nv get together when we both
actually became single... though we fancy each other.

Well u guys know how we know each other???? Its rather dramatic,
cos i used to finds him irritating in the beginnning ... Hm.. lets starts
all over...I got to know this guy "Jeremy" through my 1st BF
"Joseph Tay"... and actually Valetia i am a guides and he is a scout.
My ex was actually a scout leader..and becos they borrowed a Tent
from me, (QM of guides) so i got to know both guys, and the tent was
said to be borrowed and signed out by Jeremy.

Den... After they borrow for months... they did not return ...
so i keep pester Jeremy for my tent. I pester him... when i saw
him during recess, and after sch omos eveyday.. and he found me
very annoying... DAt time.. we dun like each other... and Joseph
kEep dating me out.. and after 6 mnths.. we became a couple.
Den suddenly i found out that Joseph is a very emmotinal guy,
which i could not take it anymore.. as he is tOo emmotional,and
not understanding enugh... Den i suggested we broke off.. but
he didn;t wan to so i give a second try.. yet still the same den he
make me.. So sad until i got depression... Jeremy was the only one..
who actually cheered me up that time.. and i depend on him alot...

We spend alot toking on the phone together... I miss the days
i really miss..bUt we were just frns... very close frns.. But we
lost contact for a few yrs... after he went poly... until now...
though i can't find back that feeling... but i treasure this very
special guy very much..To me i can say i will nv love any guy
that much in my life.. In 1 such sense i oways say i may love
many guys in my life but i he is the most important guy of my life..

My heart has died, my tears had dried....

My heart has died , my Tears had Dried...
48 hrs of on and oFf thinking and crying...
My heart aches... my tears keep flowing ..
My eyes become swollen....

No body can understands how i feels...
so terrible... while i was at home worrying
for his safetyness, he was outside with his
frn... "chilling out"... As i called and called
he nv ans the call neither did he reply my sms.

When the dawn has break the day,
i contiue calling.. yet still no ans...
All i wanted was just an explanation...
Yet when i saw him... he did nothin and say
nothin... sometims It just hurt me so much..
on thinking that i means sO little tO him..
if 1 day he were in my shoes...will he be as worried
as me? If i am the one.. who suddenly say
i will get back to him when i reach home?

Maybe yes maybe no.... wadever... to me..
48 hrs of crying... and... confronting him...
makes me sad and sick... Last nite i tot of my father
again... I dreamt that he was alive...
he will be at my 21st bday party... Preparing
everything for me. Suddenly i know y i keep missing him
cos only my father... knows my temper.. understands
me well though his not rich.. and was working very hard
for $$ yet when i once told him dat i wanted to go take driving
course, he say go ahead, if he had enugh $$ he pay for me...
if not he shared the cost with me.. cos he knew i hv some little
savings.

Suddely, i feels like toking about the important guys of my life...
Please read on to find out...

papa wo heng xiang ni...

Dear father,
I miss you so much... its been a yr plus dat you left us...
Dunno y recently i keep thinking about you ... and that incident.
Excatly 1 month from now... i will be celebrating my 21st
bday... at chalet.. this is actually wad you hv promised to give
me when i bother u for a bday party when i was 19 i think...
And now i am trying to have one... to fulfill what you had said
b4. PaPa wo heng xiang ni... xi wang ni zai tian you lin neng
bao you wo meng...And hope you can rest in the peace.
From ur xiao nu er,
Ai Ling

My heart is so fagile, Yet u Oways hurt it...

Last nite sum1 told me... he reach home.. will msg me.. yet he didn't
i knew he went out with those "frns" and... i called and called he nv ans... den i got so worried... cos he told me he sending order,m i scared he might met an accident... frm 1.30pm... i called and msg him... he nv reply... all the way until this morning... Den i felt very hurt when i know where he was last nite... Maybe he didn't wan me to be unhappy cos i dun like him with dat group of frns... but pls.... u know how worried i was?? i whole nite worried and didn't had any slp... and felt so bad... and keep crying.... den i just woke up b4 my alarm actually rings... and wake up having a terrible headache....... and felt very giddy... as i walked to the toliet... i omost fainted.... inside my mum's room... den i went back to my room and lie on my bed.... when it was aroun 8.30am i woke up feelin abit beta ... den bathe and took a cab to oFFice.... i keep feeling wan to vomit... in the morning... now... beta le.. And.. when i went to office... i msg him in msn yet... he didn't reply... den say..hp no batt... ask me dun call... and when i asked about last nite... he say i wan to pick up a fight with him isit... i felt... so saddened... and he dunno how worried i am ... until i sick... and on the spot in office... still weeping... while i was doing my project... den lunch as usual i nv really eat... just a sandwitch, cos i was on diet... den... stay in offce to eat as waimun didn't eat with us... but later we still go find him to chit chat awhile and had a small puff... after toking... abt some other topics... i felt much betta... oh... ya and just now i actually went to the toliet and cry... while tokin to xinyi... about how hard i was feeling... and dat i felt so sick... yet no body cares.......