I hate myself for the stupidness I have before..

Well, I just heard abt some news abt my ex. He actually start being together with that Fking bitch for 1 year before we broke up. I felt stupid. Somehow maybe I did know somthing is amiss but I ignore it? Cos I was emotionally unstable that time...

And I got to know this after 3 yrs... Well, i dunno how should I feel or react when this news is brought up to me. I went into totally blankness. I told a few closed frn abt it.. they asked me not to get affected since its been over for so long and I am living well now.

True enugh its past.. I shouldn't be affected by this. Though I think i might be thinking abt it again at late nite, but i guessed its all over.. I am not affected by it.. but still I really hate myself for knowing this bastard.. and get hurt in such many ways and wasted 5 yrs of youth on him.

Ever since I chose to throw away the memmories with him.. I have also somehow lost alot of other memmories.. somehow now I am very short term memmories.. maybe this is 1 gd thing abt me now.. Everything that I am unhappy abt, will be forgotten very soon.

Everyone tells me he will be retributed.. but after 3 yrs wad I see is only how he dumped that bitch and be with someone else.. well though i think the bitch deserves it.. but.. when will he get retriubuteD?

I seriously hope that he will one day learnt a very serious lesson... for doing all theses.. when will this day come? I dunno...