:(

I am so tired ... feel very restless.. and no mood no passion in anything..had a small disbute with mom ytd... went to V's coy today to interview.... den we went to pub.. drink.. now just home.. y am I crying?? I dunno.? i really dunno.. All I felt now is pain....tears just flow non-stop... Y?
Y can't I stop all test pain? i dun understand? y? Ho long can I cry? How long can I strive? I dunno ... I really dunno.. How long do I need to sTop ... How can i Forget wadever dat have happen? How Can I overfcome all the fears dat I have? I am in a cave myself Again.. where no ppl can enter.. y?
dun asK me.. i dunno.. i dunn want to know... I dun feel any warmth here.. sOMtimes just how i wash.. father is here.. whever I cry.. father is there.. to pacified me.. where is he now.. y father is not here :( Y?

歌曲：想太多
歌手：李玖哲

你笑着说
他是朋友
但你眼中太温柔
我的不安
那么沉重
只有你不懂
他霸占了你的心中
属于我的角落
所以你说
我们不是你和我
是我想太多
你总这样说但你却没有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由
他霸占了你的心中属于我的角落
所以你说我们不是你和我
是我想太多你总这样说
但你却没有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由
我想我没有错怪了什么
虽然你不说或许错在我
太晚我才懂爱了你太多
是我想太多你总这样说
但你却没有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由

Xiang Tai Duo

你怎么可以这么自私？

说来就来说走就走。。。

觉悟

觉悟 。。领悟。。
--------------------

wEll wEll well, finallY my $$ is realLy drying Up...
This one Week, Thought things Through...
tHe One that Takes Me for granted.. stIll Taking me for granted..
and .. finally.. Came to this.. thought.. he is not my cup of tea...
he wont be the one that I'll even try... nv will..
Instead.. the one Who is all the time with me.. acc me here and there..
I will treasure.. this frn of mine.. even went to NUH with me.. for scoping..
wELL.. SCOPING results: Nothing's wrong with my gastric~ :) YEAH~! TIME to Drink, DRANK DRUNK~ haha.. ITS PARTY TIME!@

Oh Ya sO wHole Week have been busy with my Flea Market.. Preparation~
tIll i very TIred.. :( lalala.. I wanna CLUB but i NO $$ hahaha zzz shIT..
Hopefully Next week caN will get a call from CREATIVE.. I wanna Work there..
Please Please PLEASE ... Shortlist me!!!!

Personality Test

Temperament
Idealist
You are the quintessential dreamer - spending more time thinking about the possibilities that the world holds for you, rather than your reality. You don't settle for anything less than what you truly desire and you work very hard. You tend to live in every place except the present - you are prone to daydreaming about the future and re-thinking the choices you made in the past. Sometimes you get overly caught up in your thoughts.

Interests
Simple
You are continually pursuing a simpler and less complicated life - you don't allow yourself to fall victim to all of the "should do's" that society continually bombards you with. You are thoughtful about your life choices and think in terms of yourself, others and the world in which we live. You have a great sense that we are part of something much bigger and we must be good to others, if we want others and the world to be good to us.

Amusement
Thoughtful
You are easily stressed out and overwhelmed - you need to take care of yourself first and foremost. Because you tend to be self reflective, you know your limits quite well and must remember to not exceed those limits. When you overwhelm your life with obligations and responsibilities, you tend to shut down and go into yourself even further. Take some time to find your serenity and kick back your feet.

Passion
Physical
You are a cuddle bug - from a warm hug shared with your best friend to steamy sex with your partner, you enjoy every bit of human contact that you can get. You demonstrate your love for others most fluidly through physical one-on-one contact and you feel the most loved when you are being touched. You feel disconnected when you are physically isolated from others. You're a people person and a lover of all things human.

tIreD

-TiRed-

Sunday Night can't slp... Monday went to do the 1 Day temp Recept..

after Working on monday was feeling very tired.. still went to meet cousin...

when I reached home. try to surf the net for awhile.. and found myself..

dozing off infront of the com. tOtally Worn-out... REsted on the bed for a few mins..

and Force myself out of bed to bathe... very soon fell asleep...

Tuesday.. got alot of calls.. and sms frm... job agency/ job opportunity

& my poly classmates...felt alot of disturbance... but I was totally tOo tired to be border..

SLept till ard 12 plus.. noon ..managed to wake up... wactch 斗牛要不要 Ep 2 and 公主小妹

and went back to slp... all the way till 5pm den wake up. Prepare to wait for time.. and go

clementi meet the ladies.. to go to our Lecturer's wake.. very SAd... Micheal is a very nice and gd

lecturer. The ealier time when they mentioned that he was in hospital, I was thinking which

lecturer are they refering to.. totally.. can't rem his face... Ytd went to the wake ... saw his

picture there.. finally releasied its one of our favourite lecturer... Sadness filled up my heart

when we went to the front to pay see him ... The lecturer who is so friendly, helpful & cheerful

now lying in the coffin feeling cold.. and he look so skinny and differnt...:(

after the vieing... all of us... tried to hold our tears... all eyes red...For me.. I felt very very sad..

cos all the memories from poly.. suddenly keep flashing...den i realised.. becos.. of the

unhappiness of my ex... i tired to erase all memmories.. in poly... everything..

even my lecturer I can also forget how he look like... :( I am so sad..

Hope he may rest in peace and don't have to suffer from the pains of cancer...

Micheal I love u. GOd I pleaded U to bless Micheal.. He was a gd lecturer.

After the wake ... gege came to fetch me.. and together with gege, jiejie, munmun, & cheng,

we went to HV .. Breeko.. to chill and went home ltr...

As I woke up Late ytd.. so in the end.. I can't slp again.. I only slp alrd 6.40am this morning...

while.. was afraid of Friday... NUH.... :( nobody is free to accompany me.. go...

I cried

WeLL I must have drank alot till i cIred... :(
I drank and drank feeling not enugh at all..
alot of unhappiness suddenly fills me up...
All i Could DO is cRied.. CrIed Cried..
Again,.. I Cried in the Ladies.. till Wendy came to look fOr me...
Sadness Filled my heart... all i can feel is saddness... only..
I cried... den wendy came.. to look for me.. I told her.. i dun understand y...
but I will nv forgive him... I wont ..I really hate him and her alot .. alot..
she told me wad cOmes Around goes ard... i hope.. they really get retribution... :(

Well started my temp at XXX call centre.. last tuesday..

haha as i told kc, dawn.. and some frns.. that ..haha i dun like it..~
Give me $$ to get scoldings..zzz lolx customer just call and start
screaming and screaming... siAnz.. dun Like it.... whole Week been a very gd ger
slp early.. cos tired... and need to wake up early for work... Friday met up dawnie
at town.. for dinner and we chit chat.. for hrs..lolx well tOo long nv meet up..
alot of things to tok abt.. Tok abt.. that bastard... that 'guy' that I always tok abt
... and many other things...abt my eshop.. den haha i told dawnie kc also wanna open eshop
den told her last week we went clubing.. den dawn.. lol told me y dun consider abt kc.. again..
lol she Keep telling me.. Kc is a very gd guy..leh.. and she keep telling me..
Kc like treat u very nice.. and gd leh.. den every time.. go out with u club with
u and go ktv with u .. Den i told dawn.. ya.. sometimes.. I also TOT he like me.. lolx but
after .. so much things.. that happen.. i think wELL he just enjoying my company only..ba
lol same as the 'guy' lolx.. and i dun wanna think Too much.. actaully aLl guys frns treat me..
really nice.. but i think maybe cos.. To thEm.. I m Too roudy.. boish.. thats y.. they treat me.. like brothers or buddies... can just go out with me alone.. not really like 'interested' in me..lar
haha i think alot of guys frns are like dat ba.. lol anyway haha y I think I am a Born ACtor..
haha soMetimes when I am very Tired... my true feelings will just come out.. lolx cheng that friday nite said this: wah how come tonite u so nice.. will pass the cushion to me..
haha ya I am very nice.. just dat i dun like to treat guys tOo nice.. cos.. i dun wan to have so many bEes ard me.. lolx thats..y haha

失眠

Totally nv slp..last nite.. Felt super Tired .. worn-out shagged~

Today's 1ST DAY at Samsung.. Tired.~! zzz very busy...

PAPA 生日快乐。 我很想念你。

歌曲：不想懂得

歌曲：不想懂得
歌手：张韶涵 作词:姚若龙

当世界不知不觉的变了
有时候我怀念以前的我
作的梦虽然远远的
想像是一种快乐
拥有了同时也失去什么
而眷恋原来会带来软弱
你让我在雾里成熟心开始曲折
我不想舍得不想懂得
是谁惹谁言不由衷
说谎伤害都是不安犯的错
怕抱不紧什么
我不想舍得不想懂得
谁说割爱才更深刻
彼此依赖是爱不是负荷
能握著手就是感动的

weLL checked my email.. saw his invitation to join his frnster network...

Not sure is him... or is that bitch who did it.. most probably is that bitch...

purposely wanna me to go view her frnster? Y dO such childish thing?

She aLready Won me.. but sTill want to disturb me???

So instead of emailing him which I think she Got his password.. to his email or frnster

I sent him an sms online... :


00: not sure if u are the one who sent frnster invitation or if ur GF. but i can tell u.. i will nv forget & forgive u. We can nv be frns.
00: And Tell her.She aldy Win and have u. so ask her 2 leave me alone. Theres nt u2 can do 2 pay me bk so just be it. N leave me alone. Thanks.

My ESHOP

- xaoa's [E]Shop -

Finally~... 1st Phase of my ESHOP is Out~ Yeah!

wEll hm.. have quite a number of positive comments

Thanks... PLEASE give me ur sUpporTs DEAR frns~

See anything nice..or interested... den BUY frm my ESHOP...

If nv see not keen also nvm.. u still can support me buy spreading it to frns ard u~\

xaoa's [E]Shop = http://xiaoai-eshop.blogspot.com

PS: However, frns who know my this blog please dun let other know abt my personal blog...

Cos i Wont be linking it to here.. yet frm here i will link to my ESHOP THANKS ALOT~!

WeLL actually prepared a gift for him.. but

still after some consideration.. i decide not to give him...

Cos i did not get enugh gifts ...zZz didn't manage to get engh gifts.. though.

haiZ.. while I was in bangkok.. choosing Gifts.. all i had in mind was tO

chooSe and think abt wad to buy for him.. and end up forgoting that I need to get

gifts for Others tOo zzz...haiz.. Wad Am I DOing ??? omg..zzz hai ...

BreakDown

tOtaLLy breakdown for 2 hrs..

va Sms me.. said she saw him.. in his co..

den she told me wad haPpen when they Met in the lift..

she say he look very paisei and stunned when they met in the lift

den she Ask him still with her.. den he nodded.. den va's colleague

Said: Thats wad called faithful...zZz

Va shoot her back: there's something u dunno..

Va look at him and speak: I dun have the time to Scold u only..hor..

zzzz haiz.. I hate him.. i really hate him.. I hate myself tOO

I dun understands.. y... he Can be so heartless to me..

throughout all these years dat we have been together?

Y Does things have to end it this way??

And Y he and that bitch.. can be.. TOgether.. And SO HAppy?

whIle.. I have to Suffered in the pain.. and misery that he causeD?

After so long... aLL I did .. was.. trying to escape.. away from.. everything...

I still lives as in normal.. but.. I know its all just becos.. I am very GD at..hiding and acting..

EVeryone tOT I am fine and ok.. already... but.. Still whenever ppl told news abt him or weva

I will breakdOwn... YYYYY!@@@

[元] says:
firday nite go drink??
[元] says:
ailing aimai?
[忠] says:
i ok
[小爱] says:
哪里？
[元] says:
boat quay?
[忠] says:
那里!!

[小爱] says:
是去喝而已还是去跳舞？
[元] says:
go drink nia ba
[小爱] says:
this one must say early~
[小爱] says:
lolx~
[元] says:
if i dance.. i cant survive working the next day
[忠] says:
不想跳舞
[小爱] says:
ok
[小爱] says:
nice picture taken just now~
[小爱] says:
lolx
[小爱] says:
i slept through the whole journey~ｌａｌａ
[元] says:
u wana see us kiss ma?
[小爱] says:
ｅｈ
[小爱] says:
LOL
[小爱] says:
dun wan
[小爱] says:
dat one digusting lorz
[元] says:
hahaha
[忠] says:

[小爱] says:
diaoz
[小爱] says:
y put ur snail out?
[小爱] says:
eh wad u guys doing?
[小爱] says:
lol
[小爱] says:
eh play online mj leh
[小爱] says:

[元] says:
just pao mai pian
[元] says:
hungry
[元] says:
online mj?
[小爱] says:
yaya
[小爱] says:
lol
[小爱] says:

[元] says:
from where?
[小爱] says:
eh
[小爱] says:
yahoo ?
[小爱] says:
lolx
[忠] says:
brb
[小爱] says:
go wherE?
[小爱] says:
lolx
[元] says:
忠 go 便便
[爱] says:
lol
[元] says:
so must wait a while
[爱] says:
ixix
[爱] says:

[爱] says:
lol
[爱] says:
[元][爱][忠]
[爱] says:
lol
[元] says:
...
[元] says:
LOL
[爱] says:
got meaning leh
[爱] says:
u love him
[爱] says:
lol
[元] says:
because of u i love him?
[元] says:
hjahhaa
[爱] says:
diaoz
[爱] says:
nope
[爱] says:
lol
[元] says:
did i scared u just now
[元] says:
for being too high?
[爱] says:
not really lar..
[爱] says:
lol
[爱] says:
ok lor
[爱] says:
gd mar me him and lt very down today
[爱] says:
u high Gd mar bring up or mood
[元] says:
wah la..
[爱] says:
our mood
[元] says:
yah la..
[元] says:
must smile
[元] says:
smile more
[元] says:
but glad u guys look okie just now
[元] says:
thot u gonna look black face
[元] says:
and loon thai's forever sianz look
[爱] says:
smile and luff doesn't mean happy u know
[爱] says:
lol
[爱] says:
just now got lor during lunch
[元] says:
i know
[爱] says:
lolx
[元] says:
haiz..
[元] says:
lonely lunch for me..
[元] says:
qi muo de eat my pork chop
[爱] says:
face black black den we 3 all feeling down..
[爱] says:
lol
[爱] says:
nv tok much
[爱] says:
lol
[爱] says:
den i suan jz mar..
[爱] says:
say he complain i tok to much and luff too much
[爱] says:
so i today tone down lorz
[爱] says:
lolx
[爱] says:
den he say very 不自在
[元] says:
hahaha
[爱] says:
den say his testimonial is joke only dun hold it in heart~
[爱] says:
lolx
[元] says:
but to some extend true ma
[元] says:
:x
[爱] says:
lol
[爱] says:
say i tOo noisy huh?
[爱] says:
lol
[爱] says:
and crazy ar..
[爱] says:
lolx
[爱] says:
gd mar..
[元] says:
u laff too much..
[元] says:
lol
[元] says:
cannot control
[爱] says:
at least entertain u all mar..
[爱] says:
not cannot control..
[元] says:
so 伟大
[爱] says:
if i tell u i luff to make u all luff and feel happy when i actually have no Feeling at all u believe?
[元] says:
辛苦你了
[元] says:
don't quite believe
[爱] says:
lolx dun copy lt la.
[元] says:
cause u laff until....
[元] says:
so.....
[元] says:
激动
[爱] says:
hai hao lar..
[爱] says:
i already lost my feelings..
[爱] says:
2 months ago
[爱] says:
lolx
[爱] says:
now i luff is for the sake of other ppl
[元] says:
biangz.. so jialat meh.
[爱] says:
i can no longer feeLs
[爱] says:
ya
[元] says:
okie okie.. we will 努力 to un-numb u
[爱] says:
but i will feel better if i can make my frns.. around me happy ma
[忠] says:
got say my bad things bo?
[元] says:
gonna try use fork poke u
[爱] says:
lol
[元] says:
bo
[爱] says:
bo
[爱] says:
only compain u say u bully me
[爱] says:

[爱] says:
brb i go take milk to drink~
[爱] says:
lala
[爱] says:
dun tok behind my back horZ
[忠] says:
lol
[元] says:
nothing much to talk behind ur back also
[爱] says:
back
[爱] says:
hee
[元] says:
so fast....
[爱] says:
yummy yummy
[爱] says:
lol
[爱] says:
nice nice
[元] says:
i haven;t even start typing..
[爱] says:
i take to my room to drink mar..
[爱] says:
lala
[爱] says:
i love milk~
[爱] says:

[爱] says:
ahhh... nice~ lala
[元] says:
i love seeing ppl drink milk
[爱] says:
diaoz..
[元] says:
with the white stuff around the lips
[爱] says:
abit bian ai leh
[爱] says:
bian tai~
[爱] says:
lol
[元] says:
isit??
[元] says:
zhong like??
[爱] says:
he MIA again~
[忠] says:
mia?
[忠] says:
i like milk.....
[爱] says:
lol
[爱] says:
i drinking HL milk
[爱] says:
u want?
[元] says:
eee....
[元] says:
dun like HL
[忠] says:
hl not bad
[元] says:
prefer marigold
[爱] says:
lol i like daisy hi-lo also
[爱] says:
lala
[爱] says:
irene got weak bones.. need to drink more milk~
[忠] says:
oooo
[爱] says:
ya~
[爱] says:
lolx tell u all a JOkE~
[爱] says:
let u all luFF
[爱] says:
I got a tOoth in front..hor.. the 1/2 of the tooth is .. fake de.. is filling like dat~ got chipped oFF
[忠] says:
i can see...
[元] says:
not farnie.. sounds painful though
[忠] says:
yah... dun think its funny
[爱] says:
no mar..
[爱] says:
GOt story behind it one..
[元] says:
*waiting*
[爱] says:
cOs i went to Mcdonal...
[爱] says:
and knock on the glASs Door.. and broke my Tooth~
[爱] says:
erm.. when i was let me i Think is after sec 4 i
[元] says:
and may i ask how old are u?
[爱] says:
waiting to go poly

[小太保] has been added to the conversation.

[元] says:
friday go drinking
[爱] says:
lol
[元] says:
friday go drinking!!
[忠] says:
LIM AH!!!!

[爱] says:
but its a painful plus PAISEI experience~
[爱] says:
xian.. den since then.. i go 1/2 faKE TOOTH
[爱] says:
!
[爱] says:
lol
[爱] says:
den the color drop liao.. should go dentist changed~
[爱] says:
lala
[元] says:
hahaa
[爱] says:
xiaotaibao so quiet
[忠] says:
i scared dentist
[元] says:
保保乖
[爱] says:
used to scare tOO..
[爱] says:
after the mcdonal incident not scare liao
[爱] says:
lol
[爱] says:

[元] says:
haha
[爱] says:
den take x-ray dentist say 1 tooth got 3 nervs
[爱] says:
1 broken
[爱] says:
he say if another or 2 more broken...
[小太保] says:
u say wanna c me on9 onli, not to chat.. so keep
[爱] says:
must take out the whole tooth den do crowning~
[爱] says:


You have just sent a nudge.

[元] says:
ps
[元] says:
abit bz

[忠] just sent you a nudge.

[小太保] writes:
[元] says:
brother... i always like ur drawing..
[元] says:
can draw me?
[忠] says:
got time draw the 4 of us ba
[小太保] says:
ur special face to hard
[小太保] says:
*too
[忠] says:
whos face special?
[小太保] says:
both
[元] says:
lol
[元] says:
just draw mt eyes big big can le
[元] says:
with messy hair
[元] says:
my*
[忠] says:
draw me small small eyes side parting can le
[元] says:
drwa irene one eye big one eye small with messy side parting.
[小太保] says:
me act act can la.. really draw cannot make it
[元] says:
u zai one lo
[元] says:
irene kunz liaoz?
[忠] says:
think she said brb
[小太保] says:
i wanna sleep de
[忠] says:
good nite bro
[小太保] says:

[元] says:
nitez~

[小太保] has left the conversation.

[忠] says:
think that ai ling.... ko liaoz
[元] says:
ya
[元] says:
lets go ba
[元] says:
nitez ailing!!
[元] says:
nitez bro
[元] says:
i go off too
[忠] says:
byebye ailingz and brother cy
[忠] says:
good nite

[忠] has left the conversation.
---------------------------------------

WeLL.. months aGo.. noW everythiNg.. have changed

SO sad..

zZzzZ

wELL... Again...

tiLl this time AM sTIll Online

rencenTly.. have BeEn... haiz dunno wadever..

can't slp.. Stress abt $$... job.. zzz wELl and ...

HauNted by the ForBbiden Memmories that Were Left bEhind..

I nEed some FResh Air.. outside frm SG...

weLL lets Hope Everything will be fine when i CaMe bacK frm BK...

[小爱]：没有期望就不会有失望，没有失望就不会有绝望，所以只选择能遗忘。。。

莎士比亚说：“人们可支配自己的命运，若我们受制余人，那错不在命运，而在我们 。”

Shakespears said : To be or not to be, - That is a question



Well Recently.. Watching.. 终极一家 and 终极一班 the actors inside..

This Male lead(王亚瑟) he likes to say some Golden Qutoes of ShakesPears..

Which I think some quite nice and true~ ::) So .. went TO do some online

Resarch on shakesPears.. and Found some that i Really like..




莎士比亚名言

· 真实爱情的途径并不平坦。

· 学问必须合乎自己的兴趣，方才可以得益。

· 对自己不信任，还会信任什么真理。

· 对自己忠实，才不会对别人欺诈。

· 你若对自己诚实,日积月累,就无法对别人不忠了。

· 老老实实最能打动人心。

· 如果要别人诚信，首先要自己诚信。

· 善良的心地,就是黄金。

· 天啊，男人不变心，他就是十全十美了

· 春光不自留，莫怪东风恶。

· 装傻得好也是要靠才情的；他必须窥伺被他所取笑的人们的心情，了解他们的身份，还得看准了时机；然后像窥伺阗眼前每一只鸟雀的野鹰一样，每个机会都不放松。这是一种和聪明人的艺术一样艰难的工作。(This one.. wELL ya.. Very true~ )

wEll SuPpose tO meet some1...

but.. Dunno Do wad.. so in the end.. I just went to slp..z

now wAKe uP le.. weLl guEssed he is busy wIth some vEggie or some Stuffs

deCide not to disturb Him... zzz wOke up.. ard 8pm...

FeEling very bOred... plus Depressed... and Gastric...

haben Eat Dinner.. think I lost my Appetite...

haiz.. feeLs.. like going Out for a Drink.. yet..

no $$.. Iam very Broke now.. haiz..I need a job..

how to survive? I need to Find a temp job ASAP ..

haiz.. miserable.. life.. no life.......

feELs like going to fullerton there.. tO sit down and look at the river..

miss My dad..

ytd Went to lot1 Kbox with my cousin...

2 pax sing for 6hrszzz

Am sO Tired..

This morning.. keNa woke up by her SMS

den went tO jp Meet her for lunch... and back hm...

Sam.. came back.. to sg.. was complaining to him abt the bangkok trip thing..z

dun like to everything last min unpLanNed..

den he ask Me if I am going to wX bd Chalet.. I told him ..he nv invite me..

gueSs cos he invites his best buddy and that bitch... dats y nv ask me..

After dat, I became EMO.. again~ haiz.. tOtally feeling quite depressed...

sO dOwn... so Sad.. 心理不平衡 but.. think its quite nOrmal..ba..

bOred~ bored~

aM sO boRed~

zzzz

nEed a jOb Soon..

next weeK will be Off to BangKOk~